they-call-me-elvis: I like a girl who is already in a relationship. I feel terrible but I think she likes me too because at our school dance yesterday we slow danced to every song we could and as the night went on we slowly danced closer and closer together. It was amazing. But what do I do? Do I tell her my feelings? Or wait til she is single?

Hey there!

Personally, I would have a hard time keeping it in. But if she’s slow dancing with you she probably has some sort of thing for you! I guess what I would do is gauge how great a relationship the one you have with her is (ie. are you guys friends/acquaintances/best friends etc.) first. If you’re extremely close, you might be able to tell her, but just be careful not to put it in a way that would make it seem like you’re trying to get her to split up with her partner, because that would be bad and she might even get angry at you!

Do you think that she would be single relatively soon? Or do you think her current relationship is rock solid? Either way, you don’t want to jeopardise the relationship she already has, but I think that if you try and subtly hint it at her to find out if she really likes you back it might be something you could try. All in all, it’s your choice! If it were me it would depend who it was with, if I was close with them and if I thought it would upset anybody!

I don’t know enough about this situation to help much more, but if you let us know what else is going on I might be able to help!

- Lana

Anonymous: My friends always tease me saying I'm bisexual but I think I am. I really want to come out but I'm scared that its just a phase. I'm scared that my relationship with my mom will change. Im scared that my friend who isnt open minded at all will hate me and my other one who is a lesbian and told me she likes me will think that I like her back when I dont and our relationship will change. I've only ever kissed a boy so I'm not experienced with anything. Im just so fucking confused about everything.

Hey hey! I completely forgot about this blog.

Alrighty, firstly, if someone is not willing to accept you, they are NOT a true friend. Unfortunately, a lot of people today and incredibly narrow-minded, and you’ll often get a lot of crap from them. Personally, I’ve been with men and women, but I used to identify as “pansexual”. Now I’ve sort of ditched all labels, and I’m currently dating a lovely boy who I think the world of. Because of this, I often get my friends teasing me “jokingly” about being a “hasbian” or the fact that “you can’t be bisexual because it’s not a real sexuality”. Granted, they’re joking, but it still sucks, y’know?

If your friends are true friends, they’ll still love you. And your mom will still love you. I know personally, my family is somewhat homophobic, whereas my boyfriend’s family is incredibly open-minded. Go figure.

What’s important is that you explain to everyone you tell (if you choose to say anything) that it doesn’t change you. And you’ve always been this way. Or maybe even come out as “bi-curious”, and let them know that you feel like you might be attracted to two genders/sexes rather than just one or the other. You don’t have to be experienced at all. I knew I was the way I am since I was a child and had a crush on a little egyptian girl in 3rd grade. 

Explain to your lesbian friend that you don’t reciprocate those feelings, but you just want to be really good friends with her and you don’t want your relationship with her to change.

And finally, you don’t need to be experienced. I know I already mentioned that, but I can’t stress this enough. No matter what your situation is, you don’t have to sleep with people to define yourself as one sexuality or another. There was a period in my life where I had only been with women, yet I still identified as liking more than one gender/sex, because hey, that’s how I am!

On top of this, if your situation is a dangerous one ie. you might be kicked out of home or attacked for who you love (which is fucking ridiculous that shit like this still happens in this day and age) then be on your guard about who you tell. Try and sus it out a little first. And above all, if you EVER need help, contact a helpline, or even shoot me a message! You can message me here or at www.xlaiyn.tumblr.com/ask 

Good luck! I don’t know you, but I have faith in you, darling.

- Lana

This blog isn’t dead.

But the ask box seems to be. Ask us for advice, guys!